Are you ready for #GivingTuesday? Make a plan to join this global day of giving fueled by the power of social media and collaboration! Celebrated on the Tuesday following Thanksgiving and the widely recognized shopping events Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday kicks off the charitable season.
If you have yet to contribute to the OHS annual fund, this week is the perfect time to do so. OHS faculty, staff and trustees have already achieved 100% giving for the 2018-19 annual fund. (Have you checked on Grace’s progress up the stairs?) Now it’s our families’ turn. Our goal for reaching 100% parent giving is December 19, so we can celebrate at Winter Ceremony.
A new and fun aspect of Giving Tuesday this year is the UNselfie movement. You know selfies, right? “An image of oneself taken by oneself using a digital camera, especially for posting on social media,” says Merriam-Webster of this 21st-century coinage. For Giving Tuesday, folks are taking and posting “UNselfies” that explain how and why they are supporting a cause, organization or school. Search the #unselfie hashtag on social media and see how may OHS supporters you can find. Better yet, become one yourself! You can make your own caption sheet or use the template here.
For the past 20 years, OHS has guided more than 350 girls to volunteer their time and resources for dozens of philanthropic programs. As our daughters learn the importance of philanthropy, the greatest step we can take as parents is to join them. By giving to OHS, we model for our girls the importance of giving back to this most important community. If you have not made a pledge or a contribution, please consider a gift in any amount. Remember, even if you pledge now, your gift is not due in full until June 30, 2019.
Give to the annual fund online at https://www.orchardhouse.org/support-us. Then go take your unselfie!
What is Grit and why are we “Getting Gritty” at Orchard House?
When we think of grit, we think about passion, persistence, determination, and stick-to-itiveness or what we like to call “work-around.” There is a growing body of research explaining why grit matters. Basically, children with grit (regardless of IQ or test scores) are far more likely to succeed in school and in life than those without.
According to Angela Duckworth at the Character Lab,
“Excellence sometimes seems like the result of natural talent. But no matter how gifted you are—no matter how easily you climb up the learning curve—you do need to do that climbing. There are no shortcuts. Grit predicts accomplishing challenging goals of personal significance. For example, grittier students are more likely to graduate from high school, and grittier cadets are more likely to complete their training at West Point. Notably, in most research studies, grit and measures of talent and IQ are unrelated, suggesting that talent puts no limits on the capacity for passion and perseverance.”
Stanford professor Dr. Carole Zweck talks about student grit in terms of having a “growth mindset.” At Orchard House we recognize the importance of helping our students develop a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. We know that students with a growth mindset (or grit) are more likely to respond to setbacks by working even harder, rather than getting frustrated and giving up. By building the expectation of risk into their lessons, our faculty are encouraging students to speak up about uncertainty. They are celebrating the student’s willingness to tackle discomfort and get gritty!
Orchard House considers itself a process school. We help our girls get gritty along their personal journey of learning. We focus on the process of learning and not on the product of the learning. We know that the process of learning is messy, and sometimes you have to fail forward. We know that girls grow best and develop confidence through these learning experiences that are fostering their competence.
By getting gritty OHS girls develop a strong, authentic sense of self along with the confidence, tools, people skills, problem-solving ability and critical thinking to go out into the larger world and make a difference. Got grit? We do!
On Saturday, November 3, members of our faculty will be offering Let’s Get Gritty, a one-day meetup designed for 4th grade girls. During this fun and energetic day of investigation, exploration, and self-discovery, girls will explore their passions and discover their grittiness. Register here to get your daughter started on her journey to grit!
Have you met Grace, our new girl? She may be quiet, but she is on the move! Grace is the 2018-19 Orchard House Annual Fund mascot, and you can find her climbing the front stairs at school, leaping over hurdles as she goes from the first floor to the third. Despite her two-dimensionality, we’ve set her racing to show our girls a role model for community giving. Why did we name her Grace? It’s an acronym, of course: Great Results Achieved through Committed Engagement.
In celebration of our 20 years of educating and inspiring middle school girls, we aim once again to see 100% Annual Fund participation from our faculty and staff, board, and OHS families. Last year, the families of our entire student body each contributed to the Annual Fund, and we believe our families can work together again to meet that goal by December 19. Grace will track our progress.
Grace's race includes three 100% hurdles, each representing a particular OHS group. She will pass the first hurdle when all of the faculty and staff have given, and the second when every trustee on the board has committed to donate. Grace’s final hurdle is the most important, because it represents the largest segment of our OHS community: our families.
As our purple-and-teal girl advances up the stairs and jumps these hurdles, she will “talk” to the students via posted “thought bubbles” that focus on goal setting, persistence, and giving back to your community. Orchard House girls already demonstrate that they know the importance of community engagement through their class service projects each year. But reinforcing that awareness can’t hurt, especially when Grace reminds them that OHS is a community worthy of their support. While last year the grade levels competed against one another to achieve 100% Annual-Fund participation, this year we hope to reach the goal as a collective student – and family – body.
During this Annual Fund campaign, Orchard House will accept pledges and gifts through December 19 (the last day before winter break begins). Pledges should be fulfilled by June 30, 2019. Receiving contributions sooner helps OHS plan the upcoming 2019-20 budget year more accurately, but a gift at any time will be welcomed with hearty thanks! The important thing is for all members of our community to work together to support our school. Keep an eye on Grace, and take your part in helping her clear that final hurdle of 100% family participation. We can then all cheer as she crosses the finish line!
We start and end every week at Orchard House School with a whole-school circle, where we can see everyone’s faces, hear everyone’s voices, and map out our connectedness physically. The first Morning Meeting of the year is always a special one that starts us off with excitement, when the buzz of post-summer catching up is punctuated by the grand entrance of the incoming 5th Grade class.
This year, Head of School Laura Haskins began the year by urging students to focus on the practice of self-compassion. In practicing self-compassion, we rewrite the scripts of self-criticism, choosing instead to be kind to ourselves. We try to separate our stumbling blocks from our self-identity—we are not defined by our missteps, by our unfulfilled expectations, or by how much we have yet to learn. Maybe most importantly, while self-compassion has an inward focus, we do not practice it in a vacuum, but instead as a member of a larger community, as someone who has much to offer to others, even in our rough patches.
Ms. Haskins chose Maya Angelou as the beginning messenger for this lesson, screening this video that invites us to think about our obligation to be kind to ourselves as the interplay between rainbows and clouds.
“This school year and throughout your entire life,” Haskins told students, “you will experience rainbows in the forms of fun times with friends, scoring a field hockey goal, grasping a math concept you worked hard on, or trying something new.” It is naturally easier to be kind to ourselves when we feel like we’re measuring up to a conventional model of success. But we will also experience clouds, maybe in the form of an argument with a family member, a difficult time with a new academic skill, coming down with the flu on days we have something epically fun planned, or saying something we regret to a friend. “As we learn how to appreciate our rainbows and coach ourselves through the clouds so that we learn and are kind to ourselves, we become people that are well-balanced and ready for life’s challenges.”
Mindful Mondays, a segment of the Monday Morning Meetings where the school collectively takes part in a mindfulness exercise to begin the week, reinforces the need to develop a regular practice of taking our emotional temperature. Language and Theatre Arts teacher Lucretia Anderson reintroduced Mindful Mondays this week, demonstrating with a swirling solution that clouded a figurine in a pitcher until the solution had time to settle. The message was simple: we’re still in there, even when we’re hidden by our clouds; we just need to take the time to let the debris settle every now and then.
When we get better at being kind to ourselves, we become better at being kind to others. If we are able to be mindful of our emotions while separating them from our self-characterization, we can train our brains to keep rumination to a minimum. Even further, if we’re able to recognize that our setbacks can help us in acknowledging shared experiences with others, we can reframe personal challenges as assets to the community. In Angelou’s words, “Prepare yourself so you can be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
Welcome back, Orchard House students—we’re excited to see you expand your capacity for so many things, but above all, your willingness to be kind to yourselves.
We kicked off our lunch speaker series last Friday with a visit from Grace Gallagher, Executive Director of the Cameron K. Gallagher Foundation, which seeks to clear the air for youth struggling with anxiety and depression. As part of the talk, Grace shared the story of her daughter Cameron, whose struggles with depression led her to plan the bones of the Foundation while still a teenager. Her sudden death while competing in a half-marathon preparing her to organize the SpeakUp 5k, a race devoted to awareness of teenage depression, spurred her parents to realize her dream of a far-reaching campaign that could help other suffering teenagers.
Grace began by invoking Orchard House’s collective goal for the year—self-compassion. “Why do we talk to ourselves the way we’d never talk to our best friend?” she asked. Students were reminded of the weekly Mindful Monday exercises we do together and encouraged to remember the self-talk they use when things are going well. “When you’re in a down moment, it’s really hard to find the kind words for ourselves. But if you’ve already found them when you’re feeling great, or even okay, it gets easier to find them when you’re not.” Building a practice of self-compassion does not start only when you need it the most—just like a marathon, you can train for it.
Grace emphasized the power of disconnecting our self-identification from our struggles, pointing out that if we all have brains, we all must also have mental health. “So why then do we always associate ‘mental health’ with ‘crazy?’ If you have the flu, would you say, ‘I am the flu?’” In trying to recognize that we are not defined only by our difficulties, we can identify ups and downs for what they are: not permanent conditions, not personalities, but byproducts of the human condition, of simply having a brain.
Speaking to both faculty and students, Grace also reminded us that all too often adults are quick to regard teenage mental health with a variation of a familiar phrase: “These are just hard years.” While it’s true that adolescence is often a difficult time of transition and growth, choosing to mark depression or anxiety by reducing it to “hard years” can feel dismissive and sometimes take the place of addressing mental health. In a sense, we should start a discussion with our students and daughters by acknowledging the universality of mental health struggles (i.e. “We all have brains.”), but continue by addressing the fact that their teenage brains are distinctive and personal, not a cliché.
The students rounded out the talk asking questions and hearing about practical ways of working through sadness and anxiety, learning both short-term and long-term methods. On top of inner mantras—”I am strong enough. I am okay.”—Grace shared with us the framework of a goal of working through extended rough patches. “When you have passion and when you have pain, you can put a purpose to it.”
Students are participating in smaller interactive workshops with the Foundation all week to learn about stress, positive coping mechanisms, self compassion, and mindfulness. On Thursday, October 4 at 7:00 pm, we will host Jodi Beland, Program Director for Cameron K. Gallagher Foundation, as she presents an informative workshop to assist parents and caregivers in understanding adolescent mental health.
Please join us to continue this important conversation.